The fanfic that should never have been
by just a rambling romantic
Summary: FMA HP crossover, Ed is harry's body guard for his first year, how do you think that Harry survived all through his first year? well, it sure as hell wasn't dumb luck, ED: You can say that again... feh... maybe some Yaoi?
1. Chapter 1

Well, it's happened, I have written a FMA Harry Potter crossover, the most overused crossover of all! I have no doubt in my mind that I should be kicked in the shin for writing this, but please refrain from this, people; shins don't look good when they are bruised. XDD

Warning: Well, I'm not sure if there will be any yaoiness going on, if there is, rest assured, it will not be with any of the Harry Potter peoples, unless it's implied Harry X Draco. One more thing, any flamers will have a bounty put on their head. 3! Oh! One more thing, I do not own any of the trademark figures from Harry Potter or Full Metal Alchemist, -sighs despairingly-

Chapter 1…

Roy sat at his desk, he racked his brain trying to find a solution to this vexing problem that had presented itself. You see, one week earlier he had received a phone call from one, Albus Dumbledore. Our favorite headmaster had informed the colonel that a boy named Harry Potter was to be attending his school in less than two weeks and he was very concerned for the boy's safety. He had good reason to, from what Roy gathered, the boy was the only living person to survive the killing curse. (A/N:Hahahahaa, yeah that was a pun… ya know.. it's supposed to be funny…. LAUGH!) The word on the street was the guy who had tried to kill him, Lord something-or-other, was still alive and wanted revenge. And since mad lunatics that have returned from the dead and are now after one of the students is bad look for the school's image, Harry needed a body guard.

Hey! Here's an idea, why don't you send Armstrong? No, he wouldn't do, Dumbledore asked that Harry have no idea about his body guard. Because, seriously, think about it, he's an ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD boy who has just been told that he's a wizard and famous no less, I think he has enough on his mind at the moment. Besides, Armstrong wasn't good at undercover work anyhow; the guy is way too sparkly to not be noticed.

Then what about Fury? Fury? HA! Not unless we want about five million stray animals running around. Havoc? He'd probably kill the kid off with his secondhand smoke long before Lord Voldythingy could ever touch him.

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Somewhere in Wichita Kansas in a house on the second floor in a bedroom, the author of this story growled in annoyance and threw her pencil across the room, "GODDAM IT ROY! YOU CAN'T REJECT EVERY ONE OF MY SUGJESTIONS!" she howled. Then she picked up her pencil and continued on with the story.

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Okay, then what about Edward? Hey, there's an idea! He _is_ small for his age (Ed:-sneezes-) he could pass for an eleven-year old if he tried… well, no, no he couldn't, but dammit, he could at least pretend that he started the school REALLY late or something. After all, Edward was quite good at undercover work, and quite the accomplished alchemist, yes, he would send Ed. Now here came the hard part, how would he get the pint-sized alchemist to agree to this, not of his own free will, of course, Ed would never agree to leave his brother alone for that long. Then Mustang's eyes traveled over a disgustingly groady sneaker on the top of his desk and he smirked. He's not crazy, that's not why a nasty old sneaker made him smile, although sometimes I worry for his sanity, you see, this wasn't just a sneaker, it was a port-key, right from Dumbledore himself. It became activated five seconds after someone touched it. This was the answer to all his problems.

Yes, Edward would kill him, but it would be at least a month before he saw him again, and he would personally look after Al while Ed was gone. Still smiling, Roy took out a piece of paper and began to write a letter to Dumbledore, explaining his plans.

Okay, tell me what y'all thought! -puts on shin guards- I am ready for the reviews, and by the way, this was all wrote on notebook paper before hand in various places, just thought I'd let you know!

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	2. THINK FAST!

Hey peoples! Thank you for the reviews! I'll answer them now!

plutobaby494: Nope, Ed won't be happy at all!

Pianogirl123 : Thank you! I might just do that!

Shingo-sama : Glad you thought it was funny 

BC (Brynn): thanks, if I do slip into a stereo type, do be sure to kick me for it U

CuriousDreamWeaver: Bwaha! -takes out magic wand of doom and grants your wish- here is the next chapter! 

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CHAPTER TWO! ((by the way, I don't own harry potter OR fma TTTT))

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Edward trudged towards the main office building, through the door and towards Mustang's office. He growled silently to himself, it was his day off and that bastard was calling him in. _ Dammit, he probably has a report due and now he's gonna make me do it,_ Ed thought sourly.

"What the hell do you want now, Mus –" was all he got out before Roy called…

"Think fast, Fullmetal!" and threw a shoe at him, and having the excellent reflexes that he has, Edward caught it. "By the way, when you arrive, look for a man named Hagrid, he'll fill you in on everything, and don't worry about Al, he will be staying with me while you're gone, have a nice trip." Mustang smiled and waved after saying all of this very fast.

"What in the Hell are you –" Ed began but stopped when he felt a tugging at the back of his temple. Then there was a whooshing sound and bright lights, then it was all over and he was lying on his back in a dingy-looking alleyway holding a moldy old shoe, which he threw immediately away with a loud "YECH!" and then a, "WHERE THE HELL AM I!"

"Are you Edward Elric?" a gruff voice asked from somewhere behind him.

"And if I was?" Ed snarled, whirling around to face a giant man, even taller than Al, with a beard that should be outlawed in certain countries.

"Hallo, my name is Rubeus Hagrid, just call me Hagrid, Dumbledore said you would be comin'" his black eyes crinkled and Edward was sure he saw a grin in his tangled beard.

"Okay, 'Hagrid', just where the hell am I?" Edward didn't want to sound rude, but it just came out that way, "And just who is this 'Dumbledore'?"

"You are right outside Diagon Alley," Hagrid informed him, not sounding offended, but a little confused," Didn't your colonel tell ya what ya are goin' ta be doin'?"

"Are you kidding me? All that bastard did was chuck a nasty shoe at my face and tell me to look for you cause he said you would explain everything." Edward huffed.

"Oi," Hagrid clapped a giant hand to his forehead and then said, "well, an alley isn't type of place for this kind of discussion, follow me."

He then proceeded to pull out a giant pink umbrella and tap randomly on the bricks above a couple of trashcans. Edward looked at him like he had lost his mind, but that look soon turned to one of amazement when the wall began to arrange itself into a doorway leading to a rather exotic-looking street full of people.

"Wh-what kind of alchemy is that?" Ed squeaked.

"We have more to be coverin' than I thought," Hagrid sighed and led him through the door, which closed behind them. He then began to tell and teach Edward anything and everything of use to him, about the wizarding world and of Hogwarts.

"I see," Ed said slowly," so I'm supposed to stay close to this Potter kid without his knowing that I'm with the military and was sent to be his body-guard?"

"Yeah." Hagrid nodded.

"Oh," Ed was taking this all way too calmly, but that wouldn't last very long," in that case, the next time I see Mustang I'm going to –" Hagrid cut him off by clapping a large hand over Edward's mouth.

"Those are some mighty strong words comin' from such a small –"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SPECK OF SAND SO SMALL THAT IF YOU GOT IT STUCK IN YOUR EYE YOU WOULDN'T EVEN NOTICE?" Ed screamed, attracting some odd looks from passerby's.

"I never said any 'o that." Hagrid changed the subject quickly," You haven't got your stuff yet, right?"

"Well, duh, no." Ed growled.

"Then common, let's go." Hagrid motioned to Edward to follow him, and he grudgingly obliged.

Their first stop was to get all the books Ed would need for the coming year then came the caldron and potion ingredients. Then a quick stop by Ollivander's wand shop, and Edward was on his way to get his robes.

"Why can't I wear the coat I have on now?" Ed looked distastefully at the robes on the mannequins at the front of the store.

"S'not school dress code, you'll get used to the robes soon enough." Hagrid pushed him inside the shop. "I'll meet ya outside, pins make me nervous." He strode out, leaving Edward alone with Madame Malkin.

"Arms out." She commanded, and Edward was quit certain that if she hadn't been in the robe-making business she would make an exceptional military commander. By the times his robes were ready and he had stumbled out to Hagrid, Edward was ready to go find the nearest bed and crawl into it for the next week.

"Please tell me this was the last place."

"Just one more stop." Hagrid chuckled, "Trust me, you'll like it." He added when he heard Ed groan.

The last place they visited, unsurprisingly, was Eyelop's Owl Emporium. Ed looked around at the many different cages, he came upon one with a calico cat that seemed infatuated with its metal water bowl. Ed bent down to examine it closer when the witch behind the counter cleared her throat loudly.

"I wouldn't take that one is I was you." She looked over at him, "It has a strange liking for metal, you can't get it away from the stuff." She shook her head in a very irksome sort of way. Her perfect golden curls fell across her shoulders in a very feminine way, and her bright violet eyes seemed to pierce his very soul as she smiled, revealing perfectly white straight teeth behind rosy lips, the least to say, she was gorgeous.

"What's you're name?" he asked, entranced.

"Me, why my name's Mary-sue –" just then a rather large vault appeared out of nowhwhere and squashed her flat.

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Many miles away, the author, now in a car infront of the local post office smiled triumphantly, "No damn Mary-sues in my story!"

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please wait while we get our replacement…

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Paul, the normal, uninteresting wizard sat behind the counter where the unfortuanant Mary-sue used to occupy.

"A strange affinity for metal, did you say?" Ed picked up the cat, _Happy birthday, Al,_ he thought, "I'll take her then!"

Paul took the money from him, (A/N: the military is paying for all his expenses by the way) "Have a nice day, sir." He said in a monotone voice and handed him the change, Edward nodded to him and laughed as the cat rubbed against his automail arm.

Then the thought hit him, "Hagrid, will I be able to wear my gloves?" he asked, half not wanting to know the answer.

"Yeah, but I don't know why ye'd want to, don't they get hot?"

"Not really." Ed assumed that Hagrid didn't know about his missing arm and leg, and unless something came up, he wanted to keep it that way.

"Well, I've got me own matter's to attend to, if you need anything just send a letter with one of the owls they've got at the Leaky Caldron." Hagrid led him back through the wall and into what Edward presumed was the Leaky Caldron.

"Tom will show you the ropes around here, see ya at Hogwarts!" Hagrid clapped a friendly hand on Edward's shoulders, making him fall forward a few steps, and strode off.

For the following weeks Edward spent much of his time conversing with whoever and whatever he could that could tell him more about this world. He couldn't find a sensible way to send Al his "present" yet. As for he so-called present, Ed decided to name her Cat, original, ne? _I'll just give Al the cat when I see him next, and he can re-name her if he wants,_ Edward reasoned as he crawled into bed the day before he was to go to the train station.

" I wonder how Mustang's doing." He yawned aloud, not thinking it pculiar that he was thinking about his raven-haired colonel, with his dark colbalt eyes, and his nice -, "Wait a minute, since when did I begin to refer to Mustang as 'raven-haired'?"

"Meow…" Cat jumped onto the bed.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Edward petted her and turned off the light.

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R&R people! Hope you guys liked it? And ummm Ed's wand is ….hmmmm… lemme think…. Hold on, almost got it…… ?inches, made of red oak, and has a dragon heart-string in it! UUUU


	3. Trains bleh

Thanks for Reviewing to everyone!

TokyoKitty16:  -smile-

Itasuko-chan: Thank you

L33Tbunny: This isn't as soon as I hoped it would have been, but hey, at least it got here XPP

Kristanite: This cat likes hands XD

plutobaby494: Thank you! -glomp- I love cats, they rock!

Al's-best-friend: LOVE the pen-name, tis awesomeness!

Okay people, I know I haven't updated for awhile, but my muse left for a frickin' long time, XPP I'll try to keep a shorter leash on it this time, -glares at muse-

Rated: T for teen, always wanted to say that!

Disclaimer: Don't own anything in this except Mary-Sue and Paul the incredibly uninteresting cashier who enjoys long walks on the beach and strip poker… don't ask, even I don't know where that came from –holds head in hands-

CHAPTER THREE

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Edward sat in an empty compartment of the Hogwarts express, he considered himself incredibly lucky; not many people who had just been introduced into the wizarding world and were firm believers of alchemy could have found their way onto the train without help. He was alone for the first half hour on the train, the station was suspiciously deserted, and he wondered if this was the wrong stop, but his paranoia was subdued when people began pouring through the brick wall. Ed glanced down at his watch again, the time on it read nine o'clock.

He had been sure that this was the time that the train left, so he put his hand in his pocket and came into contact with a piece of paper, so he pulled it out and unfolded it. It was his ticket and it told him clearly in bold print that he was to leave at eleven o'clock. With a sigh he stuck it back in his pocket and cursed the author silently for neglecting to give him the ticket in the last chapter when she was supposed to.

_Well,_ he thought, _I guess I could go check out the layout of the train._ He stood and there was a faint meow from the luggage rack, "Go to sleep Cat," Edward told his brother's Christmas present, "I'll get you out later." Cat flipped her tail at him indignantly, as if to say, 'Make me, bitch.' But she lay down and closed her eyes.

After an hour or so Ed felt that with just a clap of his hands he could easily turn this entire train into a pile of lead and he would be able to walk away without any guilt what so ever. He made his way back to his original compartment and found two boys sitting in it. One had orange hair and an amazing amount of freckles, the other was completely normal looking in contrast to the other.

They stared at Edward for a moment, but were jerked back into reality as a train whistle sounded and the cars jolted forwards towards Hogwarts and the freckled boy asked, "Who are you?"

"Ed." Said Ed, "Who are you?"

"Ron."

Then the dark haired boy piped up, "I'm Harry."

Ed looked at him, this kid couldn't be him… but still…"Your last name wouldn't be Potter by any chance, would it?"

"Yes, yes it is." Harry looked surprised as Edward held a hand to his forehead. "Is something the matter?"

"No." Edward sat down with a sigh on the cushioned bench; _I'm only sitting on a train to the middle of nowhere to protect some wet behind the ears kid,_ he added to his sentence mentally.

The train ride to the school was fairly uneventful, that is, until they reached the hour marker of their train ride.

"So, what year are you in?" asked Harry as he popped a Bertie Botts' every flavor bean into his mouth and then spit it back out when he realized it was chalk flavored.

"First." Edward ground out after a small pause.

Ron swallowed the gum he was chewing in surprise, "What! You don't look like a first year to me!"

"I'm a…" Edward searched for the right word to use, "'exchange student'"

"Right…" Ron looked skeptical but went back to stuffing his face with the candy that Harry had bought and was now sharing with them.

To Ed's relief the boys had quit questioning him and were now deeply engaged in a conversation about something that sounded like 'kwiditch', and so the rest of the trip passed without interruption. An hour is an awful long time, and it gave Edward more time to think than he wanted to.

At first his thoughts had started out innocent, like making alchemy circles in his mind to chase away boredom, but then they grew odd, his mind wandered back to Central headquarters and stopped in front of Colonel Mustang's office. Luckily for Ed, though not for the readers, sorry guys, a rather whiney sounding, bushy-haired girl stuck her head into the door and told them regally that they should start getting into their robes and that they would be arriving soon.

Edward stood up and shook his head, telling himself how stupid he was for thinking of that goddam bastard colonel, after all, if it wasn't for him Edward wouldn't be here right now. He tried to be angry, he tried to curse the name of Roy Mustang, but his heart just wasn't in it, so he pulled on his robes, and got ready to get off the train to what would undoubtedly be one of the most interesting years he's ever had.

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Later Cat finally woke up, and with an angry yowl she realized that Edward had lied, he hadn't taken her out! So she sat down and brooded, thinking that the next chance she got, she was going to hack a fur ball in the short alchemist's shoe.

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To be continued….

Yes, I know, my writing's quality went down, with all luck it will back up to par by the next chapter! UUU XDDDD sorry the chappie was so short! I'll try to make the next one longer!


	4. houses and potions

Sadina Saphrite : Dude, they are SO gonna be the BEST OF FRIENDS! (haha, yeah right P)

Al's-best-friend : Sha, me too

plutobaby494: thank you!

Blue-Angels-Wings : Yay for the good interesting! –hug for you-

Shingo-sama : )

Cathelina: awww, thank you! –hug for you too-

Okay, chapter four–takes a deep breath- sorry if it's a little odd, finals week is screwing with my mind Oo.

Disclaimer:I don't own anyone from FMA or HP, or Mashima-sensei Awww, you guys know the drill by now..

CHAPTER FOUR!

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The sorting was over and the feast had begun, Draco Malfoy looked up from a piece of turkey to look at a boy that had just recently walked into the Great Hall. In fact, the whole hall was watching him make his way up to the teacher's table. The boy was pretty short, but carried himself as if he were six feet tall. His braid swished with every step and looked like it had been washed recently, for water was dripping off the end of it; finally Draco realized that it wasn't only the boy's hair that was wet, but every part of the boy was thoroughly soaked.

If the boy hadn't looked like he was ready to commit homicide, and if the whole hall hadn't gone silent, Draco would have broke out in laughter. The boy walked up to the teachers' table and said clearly, "Okay, which one of you is Dumbledore?"

"That would be Professor Dumbledore to you, just who do you think you are?" Professor McGonagle stood up and addressed the boy.

"My name is Edward Elric, I'm your 'exchange student' this year." Edward spat back, wiping his wet bangs out of his face.

"Well, Mr. Elric, it is a pleasure to have you here this year." Dumbledore stood with a smile on his face, looking at Edward closely, "But may I inquire why you look like you have just jumped in a lake?"

"There was a… misunderstanding, sir." Ed's face reddened slightly, and he mumbled something about thinking that the first years had to swim across the lake.

"Ah, I see," Dumbledore said wisely, "We all can have misunderstandings," He then turned to the rest of the student body and announced that Edward would be staying for this year and why he was staying in the first year and everything that you, the reader, most likely already knows!

"He will be staying in my house," Professor Mcgonagle interjected at the end of the headmaster's speech, "no matter how stereotypical it is, the writer has decided it would be easier if he was in Gryphindor, being the lazy bum she is."

"Sure, okay." Ed rang out his braid one last time and took a spot across from Harry, who waved. Ed waved back and put on a fake smile. The feast was over soon enough and they trudged up to the common room, Edward jumped as a picture of a fat lady in a pink dress asked him what the password was. Ron laughed and his brother, Percy, strutted past him and declared the password to be 'turtle feet', Ed's jaw dropped as the painting swung forward and let them into a gigantic room. He shrugged it off, knowing that tomorrow would be full of surprises, including an unwanted gift that Cat had hacked up in his shoe.

(Okay, I'm bending the rules with my awesome author abilities, and now they have care of magical creatures with Hagrid XDD! bwahahaahahahaa I **am** Mashima! –Don't ask, I just read rave master's 17th volume, sigh-))

The next day Ed woke up, AMAZING! Other than his amazing waking abilities he had a relatively normal day, until he went to potions, which was rather a let down for him. Being an alchemist, he disapproved of magic, you could just wave your wand and anything you wanted would appear. He enjoyed putting together substances and making something completely new out of them. Here in this school of magic, potions was the closest thing he was going to get to alchemy. So when he walked into the potions classroom he felt somewhat elated.

Professor Snape stalked into the class and began to take role. He paused to make a snide comment at Harry's name and then reached Ed's, "Is there an Edward Elric out there?" his black eyes glinted maliciously, "Oh, there you are, Mr. Elric, I didn't see you down there…"

Ed opened his mouth to retaliate but Hermione, the brown haired girl from the train shushed him, "Don't, you'll only get in trouble, Professor Snape has a mean streak." She warned.

"I'll keep that in mind.." Edward glared at Snape, who smirked and continued with the lesson.

"Blah blah blah blah something about some potion blah blah blah?" Snape said.

"Fire penguin dropping." Draco Malfoy declared and smirked regally at Harry. _That smirk, it's just like Mustang's… _Ed let himself ignore Snape, what he was saying he most likely had already heard, his mind wandered to Roy Mustang Land, where the grass is green and trees spontaneously burst into flames, and there, in the middle of it was the Flame colonel himself.

"Mr. Eric!"

TO BE CONTINUED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! BWAHAHA!

Sorry, I had to do one cliffhanger, there might be more to come, but you guys will just have to deal with it for now!

Announcer voice: What will happen now? Will Ed get busted for daydreaming about the colonel? Will Cat go further for her revenge? And when will the author finally tell you what's happening back at central headquarters!

The author: SHUT UP! –Smacks announcer with fan-

R&R peoples! and someone please tell me how to spell Gryphindor, McGonagle and Dumbledore! Please? 


	5. ALmost winter break

kurama-sweethart: If there is a way to turn Snape into a cockroach then I'm sure Ed will find it ;;

authoraisarete: thank you

watshername14: I almost forgot who you were, and I was the first person you told XDD -dies-

Eiko Makimachi: gracias, (feeling a little bit Spanish today)

FullMetal Aquabat: -offers fan- want to take a whack at him?(announcer: noooo!)) and thank you!

Al's-best-friend: HEY, the writer says hitting is bad! (-puts on helmet anyway- just take the chapter and leave! ;))

plutobaby494 : you know what, I don't know!

DDA: thank you

Cathelina: gracias

-sighs happily- its days like this that make me happy! I can't believe how many reviews I got, thank you all! -GLOMPSEVERYONE- and merry holidays, for today is Christmas, (for me at least)

OKAY, NOW ONTO CHAPTER FIVE!

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"Mr. Eric, I mean.. Mr. ELRIC, I asked you a question."(sorry, I just caught that error in the last chapter XDD)) Snape rapped his wand in front of Edward, snapping him out of Roy Mustang land and back into the evil-potions-Snape-filled-land-of-reality.

"Sir!" Ed immediately jumped to attention, "What was it that you asked, I wasn't paying attention."

An ugly purple vein appeared on Snape's greasy forehead; sarcasm laced his voice and the rest of the class flinched, it was a sure sign sent from the Author that this was going to be a new question, something so impossibly hard that no first year would ever be able to guess it just to make Ed look bad, "I asked what was the first stage of a basic alchemic transmutation?" his lip curled and he smirked, "any competent wizard should be familiar with alchemy, magic's opposite."

Before the class could even begin to gasp in horror at how mind boggling this question was Ed replied, with a well hidden yawn, "Analysis, then deconstruction then reconstruction."

Snape's jaw was working up and down with fury, but before I let him go up against Edward Elric, our very own Full Metal Alchemist, I will equip him with a battle axe..

AND NOW IT'S FULL METAL SMASHDOWN! NO LONGER THE SWEET INNOCENT FANFICTION YOU ONCE KNEW!

The crowds screamed their delight as two new gladiators stepped into the circle, one carrying a huge battle axe. Ed eyed the axe with mild indifference, Snape snorted and charged the alchemist with a fearsome roar.

"ROAR!" said Snape.

"Yawn." Said Ed and transmuted the axe into a rubber inflatable toy. Snape had but a minute to gawk in shock before he was transmuted into a cockroach by Ed.

The crowds screamed and raved as Edward raised his fist and walked off the stage in triumph to be carried on the shoulders of the crowd to Roy Mustang Land, now with flame retardant jackets!

NOT REALLY….

Ed laughed to himself as he walked down the corridor with the other first year students. According to them he was the first student to ever get Snape's alchemy question right, Hermione didn't join in with the festivities, if you could call them that.

"Edward," she said slowly," Your last name is Elric, isn't it?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"No reason, I need to go to the library, though, see you all later." She bustled off.

"Why does she need to go to the library?" Harry wondered aloud.

"Who cares? Our next class is Care of Magical Creatures, so we better get going." Ron shook his head.

_-scene change- -scene change- -scene change- -scene change- _

Winter break was upon them before they knew it, and Edward had his hands full with Harry. The first week into the school year the kid had gotten himself into a fight with that snotty-looking Malfoy kid. Edward had spent most of the night running after them (Harry Ron Hermione and Neville) trying to keep them out of trouble while keeping out of sight, of course he had screwed up and let his guard down once to catch his breath and they were almost eaten by a three headed dog. Luckily, though, they had enough sense to get out of the room before they were mauled.

It didn't help that Hermione was getting suspicious and nosing around his past. He had thought it would be easier to let everyone know him by his true name instead of an alias, but then again his name was a famous one. The alchemist of the people and hero wasn't a small name. Neither was Edward Elric, the Full Metal Alchemist, the only one to pass the state alchemy exam at the age of twelve.

So it was no surprise that when winter break rolled around Ed wasn't looking forward to it, and it was with a heavy heart that he trudged down the hallway to the great hall for breakfast, thinking dark thoughts; when a suit of armor came to life and pulled him into a death glomp, squealing, "Brother! There you are!"

"Al?" Ed screamed and struggled to get a better look at him, "What the hell are you doing here? Put me down!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

Okay, lovsies to all y'alls who reviewed and to all you's peoples who are about to review!

Announcer: OHOHOHO! So the plot thickens! Or is there a plot? Who knows!... hey.. put that fan down….NOOO STAY AWAAAAYYY! -Miscellaneous screams and the thwack of a fan is heard-


	6. Roy ARRIVES!

FullMetal Aquabat: I like the idea! jazz hands

plutobaby494: your wish is my command, here is chap six!

watshername14: no worries!

DDA: thank you

kurama-sweethart: mwa! - kissing sound Talkative is good

hyperdude: yeah, hope you like it!

L33Tbunny: thank you!

Cathelina: -smile-

Disclaimer: don't own any of the FMA crew or HP crew

Rated: T

Well, last time we left off Al was at the school, and well, he's got some explaining to do… Last night I had some crazy dream, something about Mr. T and a secret service that I was part of or something…. –falls over- oh well, here is chapter six…

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"Guess what, brother!" Al set him down excitedly, but before he could relay his good news Edward heard the sound of footsteps coming down the hall and he pushed Al back into his original hiding place.

"Someone's coming! Quick, get back there and stand still!" Ed leaned against the wall casually as professor Snape walked around the corner. He sneered at Edward, but walked past him, thankfully.

"Brother…" Al whispered as soon as he left.

"What, Al." Edward glared after the potions master.

"Who was that?"

"Someone not worth our time," Ed spat in Snape's general direction, "Now tell me, why are you here?"

"Well, Mustang-sama said that you were probably working hard and deserved a break, so we came to get you!" Alphonse said quickly.

Edward stared in disbelief at his little brother, "Okay, I must be dreaming, Roy Mustang actually said that I deserved a break?" He began to laugh.

"What's so funny, brother?" Al asked.

"Mustang... Would…. Never… give… me… a … a… break!" Ed gasped between laughs.

"Is that so, Edward?" Ed immediately stopped laughing when an oh-so-familiar drawl sounded behind him and he whirled around to find none other than the Flame Alchemist that had been plaguing his thoughts.

"You!" Ed pointed and yelled.

"Yes, me, Edward, now come along." He smirked and walked off, his blue uniform swishing as he walked. Edward stared after him, not sure what to do, then his mind clicked and he sprinted after the colonel.

"You BASTARD!" he yelled and leaped at him.

Luckily, Roy noticed him coming and began to run, barely missing Ed's attack, "Calm down, Edward!" he yelped as Edward chased him through the halls.

Alphonse watched the two go and sighed to himself, "Am I the only one who finds it weird that the Colonel is calling Brother Edward instead of Fullmetal?" A mew at Al's feet knocked him out of his thoughts; a cat was rubbing up against him, purring VERY loudly. "KITTY!" he squealed.

Meanwhile, -jazz hands- P…((SWITCHING TO ROY'S POV))

"Come back here!" I heard the enraged scream behind me and knew that my time had come, there was no use trying to argue with Fullmetal when he gets like this. I had hoped that he could've found it in his heart to forgive me, but I was kidding myself again.

I will admit it, I'm fast, but what kills me to admit is that Edward is faster. Wait, since when have I referred to him as Edward? This is the first time I have ever called him anything other than Fullmetal, it's amazing what kind of thoughts rush through you're racing down a dark corridor.

That settles it, I'm going crazy. I've never felt this way about him before, ever since he left, whenever I thought about him a warm little fuzzy feeling raises in my chest. Hell, when I space out when I'm supposed to be doing paper work I find my thoughts going to him. Why? What the hell is wrong with me? He's six years younger than me, these feelings shouldn't be here.

((A/N: okay, I have made Roy twenty-one years old cause I can and stuff…jazz hands)) SWITCHING BACK TO THIRD PERSON…

Edward was getting closer to the colonel; he wasn't exactly sure what he would do to the colonel when he caught him. Oh well, it would come to him sooner or later. He tensed his muscles and sprang at Roy, knocking him to the ground. A startled cry came out of Roy as they tumbled over each other. Eventually when they came to a halt Edward was on top of Roy, straddling him.

"Goddam it, Ed." Roy groaned and opened his dark eyes to look into Edward's golden ones.

Ed blinked, "Hey, since when did you start callin' me Ed?"

"Why do you care?"

Ed blushed slightly, "No reason, it's just you usually call me Fullmetal or Elric." He looked away.

"Maybe I want to call you Ed." Roy looked closer at him, "Are you blushing?"

"No!" Edward retorted defensively, "Why would I?"

"You are, admit it!" Roy grinned and sat up.

"Shut up, Roy…" Ed turned a deeper shade of red, wishing he could just melt and slip into a crack in the floor.

Roy noticed his first name, and he gently lifted a hand and put it under Ed's chin, forcing the younger to look at him, their faces were so close, "Since when did you start calling me Roy, eh?"

-jazz hands- -jazz hands- -jazz hands- -jazz hands- -jazz hands-

Okay, hope y'all enjoyed this chappie! Lovsies to everyone, now if you will excuse me, I think I'm gonna go to sleep. Getting wisdom teeth taken out sucks XPP


	7. MEOW!

catwwomen47: if you break a rib, and anyone asks… it wasn't me.. –shifty eyes- UU

Aslen: thank you! I try not to make many grammar errors cause it bugs me when other writers do that, so ya know! 3

Cathelina: hee heee hee! X3

plutobaby494: you'll see sooner or later

Shingo-sama: gracias

Musiclover: crack? Naw, I think it's my natural craziness XDD

Al's-best-friend: that's what makes him Roy!

watshername14: dude, you flatter me

kurama-sweethart: CTRL V… don't ask X3

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or HP, although I do own Mary-Sue and Paul, but I'm not sure why that really matters… oh, yes and I'm sorry for being so random UU

Rated: T

Earlier on: well, where we last left off, Ed had finally caught Roy and they are now having a warm fuzzy moment, and it looks like Al has found a new furry friend!

Now onto chapter SEVEN! Wow! This is the furthest I have ever gotten on a story, but no worries, I **WILL** finish this story!

777777777777777777777777777777

ED'S POV!

"Since when did you start calling me Roy, eh?" his face was so close to mine, I could feel the heat radiating from his skin. Or is it my face? I'm not sure anymore.

DAMMIT! Why can't I say anything? I must look like a complete idiot; he must think I'm an idiot, what the hell am I doing? He's not saying anything, he's just looking at me, no smirk, and no malevolence in his eyes, and I just can't look away. Then he smiled, it was a genuine smile, and chuckled softly. My mind has just turned to jello(is this a copywrited word? O.o;)).

ROY'S POV!

The boy looked at me like I had just grown an extra arm, his golden eyes were wide with shock, I couldn't help it, and he just looked so embarrassed I had to laugh.

"What's the matter, Ed, cat got your tongue?" I moved closer to his face, our noses were touching, yet he didn't make any move to resist me. I am such an idiot, no, maybe idiot isn't a strong enough word, imbecile might be a better choice. I'm playing with fire here, a fire that I can't control. I wish he would pull away, or hit me, or something, because if he doesn't….

AL'S POV!

Where did they go? I hope brother hasn't done something rash; he's always doing things like that. If I could sigh, I would, being a suit of armor has its disadvantages.

"Meow!"

"Shush, kitty!" I pat my armor lightly, "If brother hears you then he'll get mad!"

"Meow…"

I can hear voices down the hallway. That must be brother and Colonel Mustang. It doesn't sound like they're trying to kill each other, well, that's an improvement.

BACK TO THIRD PERSON!

"Brother?" Al's voice echoed down the corridor. Then the spell was broken and Edward and Roy scrambled away from each other.

"W-what the hell was that about?" Ed pointed a shaky finger at Roy, trying to act angry.

"To tell you the truth, Fullmetal, I don't know." Roy stood and brushed himself off, then offered him a hand up, "Perhaps that is a question we should ponder over at a later time."

Edward ignored the hand; "We're over here, Al!" he called. He glanced over at Roy, "Maybe, some time…"

"Well then, it's a date." Roy whispered in Edward's ear before walking towards the great hall.

"Wh-what?" Ed squeaked.

"Nothing, come on, Fullmetal." Roy smirked.

"What's wrong, brother, you look flushed." Al clanked to a halt behind Ed.

"It's nothing, Al." Ed sighed and followed Mustang into the great hall, "Come on…"

TO BE CONTINUED…

Sorry that was sooooo short, my muse needs to take a brake, XDDD ok, read and review my pretties! Wahahahahahaa!


	8. mirror of DESIRE

**watshername14**: that's right, so watch it, Dorthy! Muahaha!

**Shingo-sama**: Don't worry, they will this time!

**Cathelina**: they will say what I want them to, for I am the AUTHOR! Wahaha!

**Aznwhacko**: Actually, the opposite might happen O.oUU judging by what I just wrote…XPP

**plutobaby494**: the next chapter will be mostly centered on Harry and his crew

**Al's-best-friend**: glad you think so

**kurama-sweethart**: -pets- 33

Okay, chapter eight! And I totally went off into ROYMUSTANGEDWARDELRICLAND and forgot that at some point in time I have to mention Harry and co. V.vUUU

XDD

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As Edward sheepishly followed Roy into the great hall he tried to suppress the color in his face. They had been so close to … _No, we weren't about to kiss, he was just… umm… checking my temperature_, Ed thought mentally.

_Yeah, right…_

_No, honestly, there wasn't anything happening!_

_Oh, so I just 'imagined' that look in his eyes?_

_Damn right, you did! Now shut up, stupid voice in the back of my head... _The alchemist growled to himself.

"Hey, Ed!" Harry yelled and came to him, "Do you understand this thing professor Snape was talking about, I got too distracted by his greasy nasty hair to listen to anything- who's that?" he stared pointedly at the flame alchemist, the womanizer of central, the one and only Roy 'freakin' Mustang! Ed let a small giggle escape his lips, but he got it under control.

"H-he's… umm… he's…" Edward was torn between telling the truth or telling some outrageous lie.

But Roy came to his rescue, "I am his brother, you can me Roy." He smiled.

Hermione looked skeptically from Roy to Edward, "You don't look like siblings." She accused.

She got them there, but luckily Roy happened to be a very gifted actor, which made Ed's insides squirm knowing that back in the hallway it could've just been acting to try and mess with him, but regardless to the shorter alchemist's discomfort, Roy said, "Forgive me, its easier to just say we're brothers, actually we're half brothers," he pulled Edward closer to him, "But he's just like a full brother to me!" he ruffled Edward's hair.

"Hands off, Mustang!" Edward growled softly so only Roy would hear him and tried to squirm away from him, but it seems that Roy Mustang, underneath the blue uniform, id quite muscular.

"Oh no you don't, Fullmetal, I'm getting your ass outta here for winter break, so while I do you are going to grin and bear it." He whispered fiercely, though not quietly enough because it seemed that Hermione, being the sneaky freak she is, overheard them.

"Fullmetal?" she looked shocked, "Did you just call him what I thought you did?"

"What?" both Ed and Roy said in unison, then, "Why?" then, "Hey, stop saying what I'm saying." Then, "Stop that!"

"No reason, I was just wondering!" she said quickly. Roy still wasn't convinced and Edward didn't like the gleam in her eye.

It was then that ed noticed that the colonel had let his guard down, so he jabbed him in the side with his automail arm. With a surprised look on his face and an oof, Roy let go of him and staggered backwards, clutching his side.

"Damnit, why you little…" he muttered and glared at Ed, who was starting to see red. But just before he could attack the colonel for calling him short he found himself bourn aloft by his real brother, Alphonse.

"Why can't you two just get along?" came the tinny, echoing voice.

"Bloody hell…" Ron had joined them and was now staring up at Al, "You're HUGE."

"Bigger than Hagrid, even!" Harry said.

"Are you two blind!" Hermione yelped, "It's a moving suit of armor!"

"Is there a problem here?" a silky smooth and low voice sounded behind them, Professor Snape had arrived on the scene.

"No, sir, I was just here to pick up my 'brother', you may set him down now, Alphonse." Roy looked regally over at professor Snape.

Snape glared, but tried to be disdainful as he answered, "Well, I suggest you get your 'brother' and leave as soon as you can, Colonel, I detest dogs." With that said he smirked and walked out of the hall.

"That bastard," Edward snarled as Al set him down, "At the end of the year remind me to transmute him into something awful."

Harry Ron and Hermione stood and watched as Roy, Edward, and Al made their way out of the castle. They said their goodbyes at the train station that would take them home. When they had secured a place on the train Edward finally asked, "So what about Harry? He still needs a bodyguard."

"Well, of course, that's why Al volunteered to do it!" he said cheerfully.

"What? If he's supposed to be at the castle then what's he doing sitting next to me?" Ed rapped a knuckle on the metal armor. "Right Al?" the suit of armor just sat there, "Al?"

"Just because I'm called the flame alchemist, doesn't mean I cant do other forms of alchemy." Roy smirked.

What he means by his previous comment about alchemy is that while Ed, and the Potter squad (that was weird, don't worry, I won't do it again) weren't looking he transmuted a replica of Al while the real Al hightailed it back up to the castle.

Edward stared at Mustang in disbelief, and the look on his face was just too much, Roy had to laugh. His sudden laughter just shocked Edward more; he hadn't ever seen his colonel laugh like this. Something in his stomach was twisting into a knot and he got up quickly.

"Ummm I need to…. Go and... And... Do that one thing that I needed to do, but you didn't know about it cause…. I'll be back!" and he bolted out of the compartment and made his way back to where the luggage cars where, he needed some time to think and get his thoughts under control.

ROY'S POV!

I watched him make his excuses and leave. Am I that scary when I laugh? When I get back to central I should make it a point to laugh more.

Well, I suppose that it was a good thing that Ed left the compartment early on; the boy is too hot for his own good. I rest my elbow on the windowsill and look at my reflection. With half-lidded eyes, messy hair and what looked like the beginning of a five o'clock shadow, I had seen better days. With a sigh I put a hand over my eyes, a slight twinge in my side causes me to look down.

Damn kid, he sure hits hard, because when I lift up my shirt slightly my eyes meet an angry looking bruise from before. I hope he can think things over quickly, because I have a piece of my mind I want to give him, a couple pieces actually.

Speaking of which, it's been awhile since he left, maybe I should see if he's okay…

EDWARD'S POV!(he's in the luggage car by the by))

Stupid damn Roy and his damnable sexiness! I want to scream, but that would attract attention, and that was the last thing I needed right now. Why does he make me feel like this? My knees are like jello and my palms are sweaty, when I catch a slight glimpse of myself in a mirror in the corner I almost jumped through the ceiling. Roy was standing right behind me with a sly smile on his lips. I whirled around, but saw no one, least of all Roy.

When I looked back to the mirror I saw myself again, this time Roy was gone and I was standing alone without my red over coat and I noticed something that almost made my heart stop…

My arm…

My arm was _real_, not automail, but actual flesh, along with my leg. Then another boy with sandy hair and bright blue eyes walked up behind me and smiled; his mouth moved, forming words, words that I had only heard coming from one person, "Nii-san."

I was faintly aware of my eyes beginning to sting and water, but my attention was immediately focused totally on the mirror when a woman walked into view. She pushed her brown locks of hair out of her eyes and she held up a wreathe of flowers and smiled happily.

It was too much; I let out a sob and pressed my back to a crate and slid to the floor, hugging my knees and rocking back and forth, my eyes fixed on the images in the mirror. Tears found their way out of my eyes and onto the floor, leaving dark stains in the wooden floor of the train car…

TO BE CONTINUED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Okay, this was one hell of a long chapter, but I bet you all don't mind, LOVSIES AND SUCH! And for you that didn't catch it, Ed just found the mirror of desire, more commonly known as the mirror of erised!

R&R!


	9. OUR Ed is THE Ed?

**Hanjuuluver:** Weird is good, I'll take what I can get D

**Eiko Makimachi: **Yes, well, I'm redoing that chappie, I didn't like the way it flowed…

**mr.kusanagi:** You're great, -glomp-

**St. Jimmy666: **to pu tit nicely, thank you for your input…

**plutobaby494:** You thought that was bad? Well, you're gonna hate me afta this, I'm changing the last chap, you gotta wait a little longer, sorry, stupid plot gnome named Gene…

**kurama-sweethart:** you're silly, 3

**catwwomen47: **Good, broken ribs don't sound fun . 

**Shingo-sama**: heehee -smile-

**Kolie:** OHOMIGOD! –GlOmP- you get a hug for that comment! 3

**Cathelina:** Crazy? Sha right, we all be crazy here! D

**InuYasha+Kagome:** This is kinda my first BIG story UU thank you for the kind words!

**Al's-best-friend:** You'll just have to see!

**watshername14: **Blah blah blah blah blah… TOASTER! WHAM! –hits detective in the head with toaster- shiggidy shiggidy shwa! (ask me later V.vUU))

Sorry it took so long to get to this chapter, but y'all know how it is when your muse chews through the leash and escapes, its just so messy, with the wanted.. er… "missing" posters everywhere UU…

Okay, this chapter nine, I promised last chapter that this would be nothing but Harry and company. Sooo here we go!

**Before I do anything else, I want to let the readers know that I _AM_ reposting the ending of the last chapter, so you might want to read it again!**

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"What do you want, Hermione?" Ron and Harry gasped as they came to a halt at the top of a random tower that Hermione told them to come to in the middle of the night at their own risk. Of course, being the eleven-year-old boys that they are, they readily agreed.

"Okay," Hermione brushed her brown hair from her face and looked seriously at the two. "I called you here to talk about Edward."

"But why _here?"_ Ron sighed exasperatedly.

"Yeah, Ed's gone for the break." Harry crossed his arms.

"I'm just going to cut to the chase, Harry, I think you're in danger!" Hermione pulled some papers from a file cabinet.

"Danger?" Ron interjected," Why's Harry in danger?"

"Look at these…" she spread out a series of papers in front of the two, "The name sound familiar?"

Harry leaned closer to the paper and blinked, "It says something about a hero of the people, the state alchemist, Edward Elric, or the Fullmetal Alchemist…" He blinked again, his brain taking all this information a little slowly.

"It's got to be a coincidence!" Ron snorted, "There's no way Ed could be a State whatever…"

A suspiciously anime-like vein took this chance to make itself known on Hermione's forehead. Taking a slow and supposedly calming breath Hermione said slowly, "Do you know how old Ed is, Ronald?"

"erm.."

"He's fifteen." She massaged her temples, "Do you know how old the 'hero of the people' is?"

Ron squinted at the paper, scanning it, but Harry got there first, "Says he's fifteen, so what?"

Ron shrugged, Harry scratched his head and Hermione, Hermione just sat there, in disbelief at what she was hearing. "Are you two missing half your brain!" she screeched and pointed a quivering finger at a picture of the star of our favorite anime, "This is Edward!"

"Are you meaning to tell me that our Edward Elric… is THE Edward Elric?" Ron said slowly.

"Finally!" Hermione threw up her hands, as if to thank the heavens themselves, "Thank you Jesus, finally, he gets it!"

0090900

Up in heaven Vishnu approached Jesus, "A-hem."

"eh?" Jesus finally recognized the Buddhist god, "Hey! Vishnu, sup man? How ya bee-" but he was cut off as Vishnu smacked him with a glove.

"Glory hog…" he growled.

010100101

I would like to take the moment to apologize to any Christians or Buddhists/Hindus that I might have offended, I am truly sorry…

--------

"Okay, was I the only one who saw that or has that killing curse screwed up my brain function?" Harry blinked.

"Saw what?" Ron and Hermione asked in unison.

"Nothing…"

"So, Hermione," Ron turned back to the bushy-haired girl, "what reason does Ed have to be here?"

Hermione carefully stacked the papers, "Well, it's obvious, isn't it?"

"If it was that obvious we would be the ones looking all high and mighty." Harry growled.

"He's here because of you, Harry." Hermione said softly.

"Me?" it took a moment to sink in, "B-but why?"

Ron had kept silent, but now was making himself known, "It's the military," he cut in, "they've sent him here to get close to you, Harry."

"Why would they want to do that?" Harry felt pale and cold.

"You don't think that…?" Ron began, and after a moment's silence, finished, "They want him out of the picture?"

"What do you mean by that?" Hermione shot a glare at Ron.

"Nothing, it just crossed my mind that maybe since Harry's such a celebrity, it's only natural that someone is going to want him dead…" Ron looked sheepish and looked away.

"…" Harry stared blankly at the wall.

"He's got a point, Harry." Hermione put a hand on his shoulder, "Though some of his theory is arguable, maybe we should just play it safe around Ed for awhile…"

"Yeah…" Harry nodded and managed a small smile.

Alphonse slowly moved away from the door, trying not to giggle as it would give him away. _Why hadn't I volunteered for this earlier? They're funny. To think, the military sending nii-san to kill the one he's protecting! _A metallic giggle escaped him and he froze, along with the three first years in the room.

"What was that?" Harry asked slowly.

"I dunno," Ron turned pale.

Hermione stood and walked towards the door, Al sprang back and froze, pretending to be immobile. "It's just a suit of armor, they must have thousands of this suit, I swear I've seen it before…" She eyed Alphonse with a skeptical eye.

When she went back in, Al would have breathed a sigh of relief, if he could have breathed that is.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Thank you all my wonderful reviewers! And to Gene, the midget living in my closet writing screenplays for some hot super model with no writing skillz! (if anyone got that reference I will hug and honor you! XDD))

Things to look for in the next chapter….

Neville appears! FINALLY! And what's this? RON! WHAT ARE YOU AND OLIVER WOOD DOING IN A BROOM CUBBOARD?


	10. Closets and suspicions

Chapter ten, you guys are truly awesome! -sniffsniff- sooo many reviews, -bows to everyone and then glomps them-

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Ed had been gone for a long time now, too long. Roy opened the door of his compartment and looked out into the hallway.

There's No Edward…

He walked down the halls, down towards the cargo.

Still no Edward…

Willing himself not to worry, Roy opened the door of the cargo car (for lack of better word) and stepped into the dim room. The first thing he saw was a large mirror; he didn't give it much attention because he heard a small sound coming from behind a large crate in front of the mirror. "Edward?"

He walked around the crate.

There's Edward.

The younger alchemist was rocking back and forth, his eyes were wide and tears were openly pouring down his face. His lips were moving frantically, but no sound aided them in forming words.

"Edward." Roy kept his voice low, the boy was obviously in shock, and he knew from first hand experience that yelling would only make matters worse. He put a gentle hand on the boy's shoulder, saying his name softly again, "Ed, what's the matter?"

----- wahahaaha! Scene change! I got a Spiderman tie and I mean business!--

Al was currently situated outside the entrance to the grand hall, he had to devote a part of his willpower to not fidgeting in boredom, even if he's a suit of armor, he still has the soul of a fourteen year old boy. Hermione, Harry and Ron had made it back to their common room without causing much trouble, even though Al had to divert Filch the caretaker's attention to keep them from getting caught.

Now Hermione and Harry were sitting at the table, talking and plotting on how they would make sure that Harry was murdered in cold blood by the Fullmetal Alchemist. "Now, Harry, " Hermione didn't have to keep her voice very low, after all not many people were inclined to stay at the castle over break, "Ed is an alchemist, but I'm not exactly sure of what he's capable of, these articles aren't very informative." She looked disgustedly at the parchments, "Although it's been rumored that his arm and leg aren't even 'real'!"

"Not real? But how could that be?" Harry looked at the girl like she had lost her mind.

"I would tell you more, but these damn papers!" Hermione threw them down on the table, "They don't tell me a goddam thing about his past!"

"Who's past?" Neville had made his not-so-grand-as-I-planned entrance.

"Ed's." Harry said immediately and Hermione clapped a hand to her forehead.

"You're just a locked vault, no one could get _any_ information out of you, Harry." Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Ed's? Why would you want to know about his past?" Neville sat down next to Harry, obviously Ed had done some socializing other than what the author had put in the story. (A/N: P!))

"Well…" Hermione had no choice but to tell him, and at the end of her ('theory', shall we call it?) Neville looked shocked.

"So it is true what my Gran told me!"

"What did your gran tell you, Neville?" Harry asked.

"She told me that the military and its dogs are evil and no good will be coming from them!" Neville nodded.

"Well put!" Oliver Wood, the quidditch team captain piped up.

"Oliver," Harry blinked, "When did you get here?"

"Eh?" Wood looked at his surroundings, "Actually, I'm not sure what the hell I AM doing here."

"Interesting, _very_ interesting." a devious look spread across Hermione's face. _Of course, this must be the military's doing! I can't find any relevant reason to why they're to blame for Oliver's sudden appearance, but hell, when in doubt, blame the military! Or was it 'pinky out'? Oh, who cares…?_

"Well, I must be going!" Oliver Wood, quidditch captain extraordinaire, got up and walked out of the great hall. Everyone watched him go.

"Hey, where's Ron?" Harry asked suddenly.

"Who knows?" Hermione shrugged, "He'll turn up eventually."

_MANY HOURS LATER…_

"Okay, Ron's been missing for way too long." Harry stood abruptly after sitting many long hours in the Gryphindor common room with Neville and Hermione.

"I agree!" Neville stood with him, "We must go search for him, in the name of JUSTICE, before those damn military dogs get him!"

Hermione and Harry just looked at him, "Neville, you need to STOP hanging out with the picture of that knight that we're not supposed to know about until the third book, but oh well…"

"Ummm, yeah…" Neville turned pink, but they headed out to search for their lost comrade.

Many fruitless minutes later Hermione leaned against a spare broom cupboard, "This is going to take forev- ARG!" she fell back into the cupboard, almost landing on Ron, and Oliver Wood. (A/N: I really hope you guys saw that coming XDDD))

"RON! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU AND _OLIVER WOOD_ DOING IN A LOCKED BROOM CUPBOARD? AND WHY ARE YOU BOTH RED?" Hermione shrieked, and before Ron or Oliver could say anything in their defense, she gasped, "OLIVER! WHY IS YOUR SHIRT UNDONE!"

"Bloody hell, Hermione!" Ron got her attention by stepping out of the cupboard, and stretching, "I got locked in there by Peves, Oliver got locked in there after I did."

"You'd be surprised how quickly air turns hot in a locked broom cupboard," Oliver stepped out behind Ron, buttoning up his shirt.

"Oh," Hermione said in a small voice.

"Besides," Wood grinned devilishly, and grabbed Harry's hand, pulling him to his chest, "Harry's the only one for me!"

"EEP!" Hermione fainted in shock and Harry pushed himself away from Oliver.

"The hell was that!" He spat.

"Ah, I didn't mean nothin' by it, just wanted to see what her reaction would be," Oliver scratched his nose, "just a joke between teammates."

"Umm, Oliver, I'm not on the quidditch team…"

"You're not?" Oliver blinked, then clapped him on the shoulder, "Well, you are now, the new seeker! Congratulations! J.K. said you would be an excellent addition to the team!" he laughed and walked off, leaving four very confused first-years in his wake.

"Come on," Harry sighed to Ron and Neville, "We better get her back to the common room…"

---------

To be continued in the next chapter!

R&R everyone! And I will be replying to you're reviews personally, cause it takes WAAAYYY too long to type them all out on this chapter! V.vUU

Coming next: Why does Neville hate the military so much? Where's Alphonse? What's happening back at headquarters? AND WHAT ABOUT ED?


	11. Alphonse CAUGHT?

**Ok, let me make a few things clearer** for everyone, in the last chapter, when Oliver was talking about J.K., I meant J.K. Rowling, it was a joke, and when Harry said , "We better get her back to the common room…" it was a typo, he was talking about Hermione XPPP Just thought I'd clear some stuff up for y'alls!

**So SORRY I didn't update sooner! V.v**

And since it's been so long, here is what has transpired in the last chapter:

_Roy has finally located the lost Edo, only to find he's having complete loss of his cool. Meanwhile at Hogwarts, Oliver and Ron were currently found in a broom cupboard together, how will that affect our plot? I can't tell you that, silly readers, Trix are for kids! (I think that might be copywrited to the trix rabbit…) Al is currently snooping around the castle with his cute cuddly feline friend, happily incognito, but how long will that last?_

AND NOW WITHOUT FURTHER BANTER, AND NO MORE ADO, I GIVE YOU:

**_CHAPTER ELEVEN!_**

"What's your name, kitty?" Al held up the purring tabby to his helmet, looking closely at its nametag, "Cat? Boy, whoever named you that has NO imagination what-so-ever, but I guess you can hang out with me while I keep watch." He tucked the small cat next to his armor as someone walked by.

Cat silently agreed with her new friend's conclusion, the loud blonde boy had little or no creativity. The only reason she chose to stay with him was because of his wonderful METAL arm, or so she told herself, but this stranger, he WAS metal, and it would be an understatement to say that Cat loved metal. She shrugged her little cat shoulders; _now if only they were related_, she thought.

scene change –cancan dancers- scene change

Harry, Ron and Neville lay panting on the floor of the Gryphindor common room a half hour later. "Damn she's heavy!" Ron panted, looking disgustedly at Hermione, "Must be all those books she carries around."

another scene change! Woooooo! -mushroom mushroom!-

Meanwhile, back in Central, Riza was exhausted. She had arrived early that morning to find a mountain of paperwork on Roy Mustang's desk and upon approaching it she found random documents stuffed in the drawers and shoved under the rug. So it goes without saying that the second Lieutenant was in a bad mood. Even Havoc, who took particular joy in tormenting her, steered away from the room she occupied at the moment because he was sure that he heard the evil cackling of one who was about to get her revenge.

So now we skip on ahead to the present time, twelve o'clock noon, Fury has just gotten his lunch and has now took his respective seat next to Havoc, Breda and Falman. Without warning the door of Colonel Mustang is thrown open and a person with a giant, paper-filled, box staggers out.

"That's it!" The person, a female person to be exact, shrieks, "I've had damn near enough! No longer shall we do his paperwork for him!"

"Oi!" Havoc cried as Riza Hawkeye dropped the box in front of the bewildered man and waved a paper in front of his face.

"You see this!" She said in a low voice, a mad gleam in her eye.

"Yeah…" Havoc gulped and his face turned red as he finished his sentence, "It's a picture of Scar…"

"Well you know what I think about it!" Riza glared around at the rest of the room.

"W-what?" Jean was nervous now.

Hawkeye wadded up the picture and threw it on the ground, along with another important-looking document, "That's what I think of it!" she cackled.

Everyone just stared at her; apparently it had happened, Second Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye had finally cracked, and the room was a buzz of noise as she stormed out of the room raving about how she was going to go to some place called Hogwarts and kick Roy's ass.

Luckily in the uproar no one seemed to notice Jean Havoc lean down and pick up the wadded photo of Scar, smooth it out, put it in his pocket and mumble "What a waste of a perfectly good picture."

-------------

Ed didn't answer at first; his eyes were still glued to the mirror. Roy shook the younger alchemist's shoulder more firmly, "Ed," he demanded, "Look at me."

Slowly, Edward turned his head to look at the colonel. His voice was nothing more than a hoarse whisper, "Roy?"

"…" Roy looked at Ed, deciding not to speak just yet, but keeping his hand on the boy's shoulder, just in case.

Ah, yes, Roy Mustang is forever prepared for everything, but not for what happened ten seconds later. What Edward did could be defined (in fangirl terms) as a glomp; but of course, we are (sadly) not speaking in fangirl terms.

The next thing Roy knew, he was almost being thrown backwards as Ed 'glomped' (for lack of better word) him, burying his head into Mustang's blue uniform, holding onto to him as if Roy was the only thing keeping him from falling off the earth into oblivion. The first reaction the flame alchemist could come up with was to circle his arms protectively around the older of the two Elrics and hold him closer.

"Edward…" Roy said after many long minutes had passed and Ed's sobs had slowed, "Ed, what's wrong?"

Edward looked up for the first time; his golden eyes were still bright from crying and his hair was messy from burying his head in Roy's chest, but he took a deep breath before he told what he saw…. cliffhanger XP

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"Meow!" Cat mewled as she padded down the halls. Silently she cursed, she had gone to explore a shady-looking corner for no more than two seconds, (ten minutes, actually) and her large friend had disappeared.

So it was with a forlorn look that Cat walked down the halls of Hogwarts, that is, until she saw a piece of something shiny and metallic looking. For at least a good twenty minutes she would be content to just rub against the metal based object until she was bored again, or until someone new found her.

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"Ohhh!" Hermione squealed in delight as she encountered a small kitten in the hallway rubbing against a piece of armor, she had just recently woken up in the common room and now decided to go and research/study more on whatever the hell she does when you can't see her and the book is revolving around Harry.

"Kitty!" a small tinny voice sounded from down the hall, causing Hermione to snap her head around, then head to where she thought the voice had come from.

"Hello?" she peered suspiciously at the suits of armor lining the halls, "is someone there?"

Cat jumped from the brown-haired girl's arms and ran over to Al, "Meow!" translation: So that's where you were!

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Al stiffened as soon as he'd spoken, why hadn't he listened to Ed when said alchemist had told him to cut back on screaming 'kitty' every time they encountered one of the small fuzzy mammals?

The brown-haired girl was getting closer now, and his cat had jumped out of her arms and was now rubbing against him, meowing. _Great, _Al thought, _just great…_

TBC!

Okay, sorry that took soooooo long to get to you guys! V.v UUU but hey, at least I got it done XPPP okie day, hurry up and R&R!

-caiti


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